Real talk: 21 things I say to teenagers who stutter before we start speech therapy

For more than a decade, I’ve provided speech therapy to teenagers who stutter. Sometimes, I meet clients face-to-face in our clinic. Increasingly, I do it through telehealth sessions, e.g. via Zoom or Teams. (Telehealth sessions can be less disruptive to school routines, saves traffic delays and petrol; and are preferred by lots of my teenage clients.)

Over the years, I’ve developed a checklist of key points and resources I share with clients before I kick-off any speech therapy. I thought it would be helpful to share it here – especially for any teenagers who stutter and family members who might stumble across this article looking for general information:      

1. Stuttering is a genetically-influenced physical glitch in the brain that affects talking.  
2. As yet, there is no cure.
3. Stuttering is not “good” or “bad”. It just is. 
4. Stuttering is not a moral weakness or a character flaw. 
5. Stuttering has nothing to do with how smart you are. 
6. Stuttering is not caused by nerves. But feeling anxious about speaking can increase stuttering in social situations. 
7. You are not alone. Stuttering is common. 
8. Lots of teenagers value meeting other people who stutter, and watching videos of people who stutter talking about their experiences and successes (we include some links below). 
9. Society stigmatises stuttering. Stuttering is seen by lots of people as being bad, or something to be ashamed about. This is unfair and wrong, and we hope it changes. But, right now, it’s a reality you have to deal with.
10. For many teenagers, high school is especially hard. Teasing and bullying are common. This is unacceptable, discriminatory, and should never be tolerated – not by you, not by your peers, and not by any of the adults around you at school. 
11. At school, many students who stutter are taught or learn to hide their stuttering. 
12. There are lots of ways to hide stuttering, including substituting words, avoiding speaking situations, and using “fluency enhancing speech techniques”. But, in the long run, hiding stuttering – especially avoiding speaking situations – can make you feel worse. 
13. Stuttering is part of who you are. It’s not an ‘enemy’ to be defeated. Fighting it means fighting part of yourself, which can be an exhausting struggle. 
14. You can dislike the struggles of stuttering without disliking yourself.  
15. You can both stutter and communicate effectively with your family, friends, peers, teachers, workmates, and others. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
16. Our speech therapy is aimed at improving your quality of life. We want to help you live the life you want to live, based on your talents and interests, on your terms. 
17. You set the goals for your speech therapy. Our job is to help you achieve them. 
18. Common goals for stuttering speech therapy include increased:
    1. efficiency: to say what you want, using the words that you want. This might include becoming an expert of how you stutter, and reducing the physical, language and avoidance behaviours that make speech harder; 
    2. comfort: to feel less effort when speaking, and more calm. This might include open stuttering and stuttering with less tension or effort;  
    3. confidence: to connect with others more authentically. This might include taking calculated risks to reduce avoidance and increase participation;
    4. spontaneity: to speak without rehearsal or editing, and to share your ideas freely. This might include focusing on the content of what you say, rather than the fluency with which you say it; and
    5. joy: experiencing deeper connections with other people that might not be possible when you are focused on controlling or hiding stuttering.
19. Disfluency – stuttering – does not have to mean constant struggle. We spend time explaining what stuttering is – and isn’t – and how it works, so you can explore different ways to speak with more comfort and confidence, and less avoidance.
20. Acceptance of stuttering can take a while. Therapy often involves lots of little experiments, including successes and failures along the way. 
21. A useful starting point is to recognise:
    1. stuttering is a common variation in the ways humans communicate; 
    2. you are the leading expert on your stuttering; 
    3. support is available, including online; and
    4. you already have the intelligence, strength and everything you need to face the challenges that come with stuttering, and to chase your dreams. 

For more information about our in-clinic and telehealth services for teenagers who stutter, please get in touch by email, phone or our website form. 

Key source 

Avoidance Reduction Therapy for Stuttering: Case Spotlights Through an ARTS Lens (open access!)

Video Resources:

• Open Stutter All Videos
• My Stuttering Dr. Chris Constantino
• I Stutter. But I Need You to Listen. | NYT Opinion
• Scott Yaruss shares his thoughts on “Stuttering as Verbal Diversity”
• Rethinking “fluency” when talking about stuttering
• Using the Term “Fluency” Appropriately in Stuttering Therapy

More from us:

Over the years, our approach to stuttering speech therapy has evolved with new evidence, including the perspectives and knowledge of people who stutter:

• Stuttering therapy: going beyond medical models 
• Feel the fear and do it anyway: hard advice for teenagers who stutter 
• Speech pathologists working with adults who stutter: let’s open our ears and minds